Why Do We Always Seem to Make the “Wrong” Decision?
It’s a common human experience: you’re stuck in a frustrating situation, like super-heavy traffic, and your mind immediately jumps to alternative choices you could have made. “If only I’d taken that other route,” you lament, convinced it would have spared you this mess. This feeling that we constantly make the “wrong” decision, however, often stems from a skewed perception rather than a consistent pattern of poor choices.
The Illusion of Hindsight
When we find ourselves in an undesirable situation, our brains are quick to rewrite history. We tend to believe that a different decision in the past would have led to a significantly better outcome. This is a classic case of hindsight bias, where events that have already occurred seem more predictable than they actually were.
Consider the traffic scenario. You’re stuck, and you imagine a clear, flowing alternative route. What you don’t consider is that the alternative route might have had its own unexpected problems — a sudden accident, an unexpected road closure, or even heavier traffic due to a different event. The reality is, you’re experiencing the outcome of one path, and the outcomes of all other paths remain unknown.
The Unsung Victories of Good Decisions
The truth is, we likely make many more good decisions than bad ones. Imagine you make ten decisions in a day. Perhaps eight of them lead to neutral or positive outcomes, while two result in less pleasant experiences. Our brains, however, tend to zero in on those two negative outcomes. We dwell on the perceived failures, amplifying their significance and labeling ourselves as “bad decision-makers.”
We rarely celebrate the absence of problems. When you have a smooth, traffic-free drive, you don’t typically think, “Wow, I made the right decision to take this road!” Instead, you simply accept the smooth drive as the default. You assume that any other route would have yielded a similar result. But what if the alternative route was, in fact, experiencing a massive jam? In those moments, your “default” good outcome was actually the result of a sound, albeit unconscious, decision.
Outcomes Are Not Always Binary
Even when we face a less-than-ideal outcome, like being stuck in traffic, it’s crucial to remember that changing the past wouldn’t necessarily guarantee a “better” future. It would simply create a different future. The alternative route might have been faster for a stretch, but then you might have encountered a long detour. Or perhaps you would have arrived at your destination only to find another unforeseen obstacle.
The Disconnect Between Decision Quality and Outcome
It’s important to recognize that the quality of a decision isn’t always directly correlated with its outcome. We shouldn’t judge the soundness of a decision solely based on what happens afterward, but rather on the process by which it was made. A good decision remains a good decision when it considers various factors and is made carefully, even if external circumstances lead to an unfavorable result. Conversely, a poor decision remains a poor decision when made carelessly, even if sheer luck leads to a positive outcome.
For example, imagine you’re about to drive to a new destination. You diligently open Google Maps, analyze the available routes, and choose the one indicated as the fastest. Despite your careful planning, you might still get stuck in an unexpected traffic jam due to a sudden accident. In another scenario, someone else might drive to the same new destination without consulting any map, relying only on their intuition, and coincidentally arrive smoothly without traffic. In the first instance, a good decision was made based on a sound process, but the outcome was unpleasant. In the second, a poor decision was made (or rather, a lack of careful decision-making), yet the outcome was pleasant. This highlights that you can make a good decision and still get an unfavorable outcome.
Life is complex, and the consequences of our choices are multifaceted. There’s no single “perfect” decision that always leads to optimal results. Instead, we navigate a web of possibilities, and what seems like a “wrong” turn often leads to unexpected lessons, new experiences, or simply a different path to the same destination.
Ultimately, instead of fixating on hypothetical “wrong” decisions, perhaps we should focus on learning from every outcome, whether pleasant or not. Every choice, every experience, contributes to our understanding of the world and shapes who we become.
